Loving kindness meditation

Background for loving kindness meditation

As we go on about our daily lives, we come across so many thoughts, feelings and emotions. Sometimes we may feel happy, sometimes sad, sometimes angry and so on. Have you ever given a thought as to what kinds of thoughts and emotions predominate our minds?

Looking back, you may have realized that human beings tend to be overly self critical and harsh on themselves, judging themselves very strongly. In addition to this, sometimes we are harsh and critical on others too!

For example, perhaps you had a tough time at work and blamed yourself for not being good enough. Perhaps you had a tough time in your relationship, and you think your partner is to be blamed, that they don't care about you. Perhaps someone was rude to you and you're hurling curses at them. In all such cases, notice how strongly this feeling of anger arises!

So where does loving kindness meditation fit in?

Loving kindness meditation is a way to flip the switch on these negative emotions which arise. They are a conscious way to alter our thinking towards more constructive and beneficial patterns.

Loving kindness meditation focuses on generating feelings of kindness and goodwill, towards yourself, your friends and family, and eventually the universe. By radiating kindness and warmth to ourselves and others, we are reducing the negativity, hatred and animosity towards others, and instead give rise to positive feelings like kindness, compassion, friendliness and warmth. This in turn, has a ton of benefits, some of which I'll highlight here -

1. Increased acceptance and kindness towards ourselves.

In this mindfulness practice, we reduce self criticism, and instead practice being kind and accepting of ourselves. This helps calm the mind down, reduces stress levels which can help improve our health.

2. Improved relationships

By practicing loving kindness meditation, we are being kind to ourselves and others, which in turn can help us improve our relationships with our family and friends.

3. Reduced overthinking and anxiety

In today's world, everyone is in fight and flight mode all the time, either addressing problems which arise throughout the day, which could range from bad traffic, a difficult boss, to excessive work, or ruminating about them when they're not actively working. Think about the last time when you were worried about some task you had to attend to and whether you were up to it, or worried about the future thinking if you would be able to handle future challenges?

Loving kindness meditation helps us take out a few moments from our hectic days to cultivate kindness and compassion for ourselves and others. By being kind to ourselves, we stop rumination and reduce overthinking and anxiety. What's more, by constant reaffirmation, we can in fact generate more confidence in our abilities to deal with problems!

4. Improved health

We saw how this meditation can help reduce stress and anxiety. This in turn, leads to better health! If you've seen my first post, you know how stress and anxiety leads to the release of adrenaline and cortisol, increases blood pressure and causes debilitating effects on our health. Loving kindness can help reduce these stresses which improves overall health.

5. Increased capacity for kindness and compassion

By practicing kindness and compassion over a period of time, we become kinder, more compassionate individuals to others. Such an amazing thing, isn't it? Not only do we gain the benefits of meditation, we also evolve to become better individuals.

Great! How do I do it?

Here are the steps to perform loving kindness meditation -

1. Take a comfortable position, either seated or lying down. Bring a gentle awareness to your surroundings, just observing what's here. You could look around at the bed, the table, a lamp or whatever's present. Just glance, no judgement or thinking!

2. Now, take a deep breath and close your eyes. Gently observe your breathing for the first minute or 2 as a way for your mind to settle down into the present moment.

3. Now, as you breathe in and out gently say the following phrases to yourself - a. May I be safe b. May I be happy c. May I be at ease I want you to really say this with intention and mean each and every word. You want to be safe, happy and at ease, right? We all do :) so offer these words of kindness to yourself with meaning.

4. Now, imagine a dear friend or family member, whoever's closest to you. Now say the following phrases and this time direct it at them. a. May you be safe b. May you be happy c. May you be at ease. Just like last time, say it with intention and really imagine directing these words towards them! Imagine your friend/family member hearing these and feeling happy!

5. As a next step, direct these words to all your friends and family. You could use the following phrases -

a. May you all be safe b. May you all be happy c. May you all be at ease.

Really mean these words from your heart, and imagine them getting this message and feeling happy!

6. Now, imagine all the beings in the universe. The animals, birds, insects, trees, other human beings living in houses around you, perhaps some are walking outside right now. Use the same affirmations as in point 5 and direct it to all beings in the universe.

7. Whenever you feel you're done, gently open your eyes. Take a moment to notice, how did these words of affirmation and kindness make you feel? You're most welcome to write these feelings down somewhere, I recommend a mindfulness journal. I will cover what mindfulness journals are in the next post!

Well you know me, I'm still a video guy, that hasn't changed! Anything?

Sure! Here's an excellent resource for videophiles out there -

References -

https://positivepsychology.com/loving-kindness-meditation/